Day 62 – From Judgement to Possibility

Days unfold before me,
Behind me what has been — then.
Today — I am here.
- Saoirse Charis-Graves

The anatomy of this blog post …

1. Judge.

Begin with what I consider to be justified and righteous judgements of patterns of decisions that I observe in both individuals and “systems” as of late.

2. Set Out to Write.

Open this page, convinced of the necessity to share my opinions with this tiny corner of the world. That I, in noble fashion should step up onto my soapbox and tell everyone what’s wrong, particularly in the world of education and parenting, and what we “should do instead.” Let me tell you what is bad and what is better, and don’t worry I’ll tell you exactly how you need to be different. Convinced of what’s best, and with urgency and scarcity in my pocket, I’ll share the need to fix “their” problem, I will say what “they” need and should do, and that this saying so will, in fact, nudge “them” in the right direction.

"Judgement: the assignment of value (good/bad, right/wrong, worthy/unworthy, etc.) to something or someone.

Judgement requires no discernment or responsibility, only the decision to place myself in a position of superiority to those whom I judge." - James- Olivia Chu-Hillman

3. Research (aka rally the troops).

Do a bunch of research to back-up said opinion and judgements. This isn’t going to be just any old blog post, no it will be like a fully researched academic paper, a treatise, damn near a book. Beef up the argument with so-called “experts” who support my “rightness,” and in doing so, feel better about my position and why my ideas or thoughts are necessary and needed and should be implemented … preferably ASAP.

Fingers ready …

4. I Stop.

Breathe.

Notice. Check in with my body. Talk kindly to myself when I realize what I’ve been up to. Grateful for what the “other” … these judgements, have just awoken in me, and I invite in this messenger.

5. Question. Go in.

What is my body feeling? What am I up to? What am I trying to do? How did we get here? What am I avoiding? What else is possible? What am I projecting? What do I want? What’s mine?

And instead of looking for more information or answers “out there,” check in with that which is living and happening “in here.”

" We try to be other people's Gods all the time, we think we know what other people need and should have.  We think: if we heal the world we'll heal ourselves, when it's just the opposite ... only by healing ourselves do we heal the world.  It's much easier to look externally at what's wrong with the world, instead of to look internally and see ...  what's wrong in the world and how is it showing up in me?" (Quanita Roberson) 

6. Take stock of those judgements.

Don’t get rid of them, but open to what those judgements are gifting … really valuable information about and for ME (not the other whom I am placing judgement).

Listen to these judgements, even list them if helpful (then, burn it later). Flipping each “they” judgement, back to “I” or “I want,” allowing each judgement to bring you back to you.

Notice the stories that arise and “how they point you toward wants you have, maybe wants that you are unaware of or where you are holding back. You can use your judgements to get at where you avoid your own responsibility.” (Jenn McCabe)

7. Get really clear.

Focus on the difference between that which I DON’T WANT (where a judgement arises, a starting place) and move towards what I DO WANT … claim and engage with what I’m for, versus what I’m against.

Instead of saying this is bad, or that is bad, trying to get away from something, or comparing in anyway … move towards the possibility of the world I want to live in …

"...  (we) put the emphasis on fighting against what we don't want, versus standing for what we do - which is always a weaker position of power.  Because what we put our attention on grows, when our focus is on (what we don't want), we are growing it, versus centering our focus on healing and transformation ... 

What might it look like if all our energy is channeled into healing and transformation originating from a place of abundance and love instead of focusing on fighting from a place of fear and scarcity?    

What might that change look like in us personally and in the world?  When we step away from reacting out of fear for what we don't want and instead respond with love for what we do want, we have an opportunity to step out of the cycles of slavery and bondage and into a lived experience of freedom and liberation." 

- Quanita Roberson & Amy Howton (The InnerGround Railroad - A 40 Day Journey to Remembering Soul & Spirit) 

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8. Live it.

"Given where I am, what I want, what I'm committed to, and what the world is asking of me, ask yourself ..."What now?"  (Jenn McCabe) 

For so long, this is where I got stuck, paralyzed to move.

But now, from this place, I see, that even in the tiniest of ways, in each moment , I can access the possibilities.

Love. Embody. Claim. Experiment. Discern. Tend my responsibility. Ask for what I need and offer what I can. Play. Write. Acknowledge and take care of what’s in me. Ask and live into the questions. Open to possibilities. Relate. Regard the wonder and mystery of myself and other. Be curious. Listen. Be open. Get myself fully in the room, share my story, bring what’s mine (which is a lot different than bringing what I think the other needs to hear).

Live it.

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It’s not about being an “example,” forcing anything, or persuasion … an inner shift, and a remembering that we’re all connected, and by my going in, living into my wholeness (judgements and all) and embodying the I world I want to live in, a seed is planted and a groove gets created in the universe, one that just might possibly generate curiosity, and create a possible path for the next person.

The external reflects the inner.

Three ways to move something ... 
* Path 1: Body-to-Body is called FORCE
    Use body and/or threats of bodily harm to force somebody to move the rock.  This is the dominant mode of communication used by dictators, terrorists, militants, and other unpleasant people.   

* Path 2: Mind-to-Mind is called PERSUASION.
      Use mind (by reasoning and cajoling) to persuade somebody's mind.  This is the dominant form of communication in our culture today, and can be seen most visibly in the communication patterns of marketing executives, salesmen, lawyers, politicians, and other clever people. 

* Path 3: Spirit-to-Spirit is called INSPIRATION 
Activate our own spiritual dimension to activate the corresponding dimension within another.  This energy mobilizes the [possibility] to generate curiosity and enthusiasm for our offering

 - John Marshall Roberts (Igniting Inspiration) 

9. Surrender

Surrender to knowing what it should look like or where it’s going to show up, how I’m supposed to do it, or who’s supposed to find it or connect to it or show up. Plant and tend to the seed. And surrender the rest.

Allow what wants to comes through me. Continue to move towards the possibilities in even the smallest of decisions and moments, and release any attachment to outcome.

10. Close the computer and head outside.

I continue.

Until Tomorrow …

N